you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
