I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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