nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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