you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
