If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
im on a boat
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