I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
