I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
