We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
