The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
