My brain says no but my pants say off.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
only if we run a train.
done.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
