just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize
