Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
why is half of my head shaved?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
