Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
