Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You need a sexual gate keeper
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's no shave November. This is our time.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
