dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
