it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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