a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
