I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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