C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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