Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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