He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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