He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
