You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
