Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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