She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
