Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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