I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
