I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
