you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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