What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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