I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
