:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
