I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
