Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
