Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
