she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
