Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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