I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
