Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
