I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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