Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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