You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
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