Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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