Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
