You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
