we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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