Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
