found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize