shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
