I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
